In the immediate aftermath of UFC middleweight Anderson Silva‘s loss to Chris Weidman at UFC 162 the former champion turned down the idea of attempting to reclaim the title he’d just turned over. A few days later, “The Spider” came forward to state he was in fact seeking a rematch with Weidman and the bout was ultimately booked for UFC 168.

Silva has since shed some light on the reason for his change of heart, telling Mundo da Luta he wasn’t thinking straight after being flooded with emotions after the defeat.

“I was so sad with myself, with my lack of control on the moment, that I said some words that weren’t nice. I said that I wouldn’t fight for the title,” said Silva in a conversation captured by MMAJunkie. “I was so out of myself that I didn’t think about it.”

The 38-year old also addressed his decision to showboat in the bout, backing off previous comments about injecting some entertainment into the equation to admit he’d abandoned the principles of martial arts he previously attempted to adhere to.

“The criticism is valid, but I’m human. I made a technical mistake, and it was good for me and for the people around me to learn,” confessed Silva. “I had to be able to know that focus is always needed. I lost focus, and now I will get better.”

UFC 168 is scheduled for December 28 in Las Vegas, Nevada.