Fans have long heard about the accomplishments of UFC middleweight Brian Stann outside of Mixed Martial Arts, specifically regarding his service in the United States military and the heroic efforts in the Middle East netting him a Silver Star. Now, thanks to Stann and the UFC, the public has an opportunity to take a much more revealing look at exactly what he endured in 2005 and how that time has affected him in the years since.

On this week’s episode of Ultimate Insider, the 31-year old spoke in detail about what unfolded in Iraq during Operation Matador while actual video from the scene played. Stann was also joined by fellow Marine Robert Gass who was injured in the attack and directly impacted by Stann’s actions.

“After war, after seeing the things I’ve seen and going through the things I go through, you just realize there’s so much in life you don’t understand,” explained Stann before delving into the footage/story. “There’s so many thing you don’t have control over and there’s nothing you can take for granted – not a single day, not a single minute, not one relationship.”

Even though all 42 of the soldiers under his control came out alive, to this day Stann still thinks about what he could have done differently to avoid the situation as well as the suffering his fellow soldiers have endured as a result of his command.

“People always want to ask me about it, they want me to talk about, and beat my chest like I was Superman out there, like I saved the day and that’s why I got a medal on my chest,” said Stann of the situation. “It’s interesting because I don’t hang any of those medals in my house. I don’t even know where they are. I lose sleep at night, every day of my life, thinking about those men who were wounded that time. If I’d have gone right instead of going left, if I’d have gone this direction, if I’d have come at this time, if I’d have used this air support…what could I have done…because ultimately it was my responsibility. It was my decisions that put those men in the places where they got hurt.”

Stann’s next appearance inside the Octagon is set for April 14 at UFC on Fuel 2 where he’ll face Alessio Sakara.

Watch the incredible interview below, arguably one of the best pieces of production the UFC has created to date: