schiavelloOn this New Years Eve while I’m still disoriented and shaky from an entire evening spent covering the memorable “Dynamite!! 2009” card, I just wanted to raise my virtual glass to the man I consider to be, as Tina Turner would put it, “Simply the Best” fight commentator in the business.

As an extremely longtime fan of the sport I know as well as any that getting adjusted to hearing a particular voice talking over fights you’re trying to concentrate on can be an acquired taste, and that’s putting it gently. Well I am here to tell you in all honesty that I have acquired a taste for the knowledgeable and witty commentary from the Australian based Michael Schiavello.

The king of the one liners, you may know Michael as the enthusiastic voice screaming “It’s goodnight Irene!!” following any number of the most brutal knockouts in the sport that have recently been aired on HDNet and scores of other media outlets worldwide.

Anyone that had the pleasure to sit through all seven plus hours of the live “Dynamite!! 2009” event that Schiavello took the spot as lead commentator along with Jason “Mayhem” Miller and “Sexy Beast Number One” Guy Mezger can attest to the fact that “The Voice” never missed a beat from the first minute to the last hour.

Below is a selection of some of the very best one-liners from one of the most unique and charismatic commentators in sports broadcasting, period. Enjoy…

“He’s fought Sapp, Hong-Man, and word is next he’s going to be fighting a humpback whale” – on Ikuhisa Minowa

“He’s got more submissions than a high school newspaper” – on Minowa Man

“That put a kabosh, in the big kabosh” – on Minowa knockout

“Shimada’s going to be breathing through the back of his neck courtesy of that left hand of Noiri” – following a big punch that bloodied the nose of Shimada

“Omigawa tickled the testicles of the judges when he was awarded with a split decision over Marlon Sandro at Sengoku 9” – on Michihiro Omigawa’s controversial split “must decide” decision victory in the Sengoku featherweight GP semifinals

“When it goes to the ground he gets tapped more times than Tiger Woods in Booty Call” – on Melvin Manfhoef

“It just looks wrong on so many levels” – on the wheelbarrow defense employed by Kazunori Yokota against Tatsuya Kawajiri

“Because that’s a replay we really want to see in slow motion” – when the knee to the testicles of Yoshida is shown is extreme slo-mo

“He’ll be wearing his balls as earrings after that one. Return those to Tiffany’s” – in reference to the knee to the groin of Yoshida from Ishii