On his exclusive blog for, Evan Tanner reveals that he was devastated by Saturday’s split decision loss to Kendall Grove during the main event of the live season finale for “The Ultimate Fighter” and that he’s considering retirement.

“I was pissed off about the fight, f**king sad, f**king raging, on edge, all of it heavy with me, trying to maintain, trying not to explode,” a candid Tanner writes. “Camera men in my face, corner men, doctors, security, paramedics, friends, journalists, too many bodies crowding me, too many hands pulling me too many ways. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breath, standing there afraid of the man that would come out if I lost control. I broke free, turned my back, stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. I tried to catch my breath in that small space, tried to calm down.”

Tanner, a former UFC middleweight champion whose troubles outside of the cage have been well-documented, made a vague reference to a health issue that has been effecting him as of late. He reveals in the blog that he intends to get it checked out but that it could force him into retirement.

“I’ve been having some serious health problems for a while now,” revealed Tanner, without specifically naming his ailment. “They’ve caused me some problems in my daily life and have seriously affected my training. I obviously haven’t been the same guy in the ring… I’m going to be taking a little time off to see a doctor. If we can’t get this health issue figured out, I’m done, I’m retiring. I don’t want to step back into the Octagon unless I’m 100%, and I can give the fans the type of fight they deserve to see.”

Despite painting a bleak picture, Tanner stopped short of saying he was going to hang out his gloves.

“I don’t see (the health issues) coming to (retirement) though,” he said. “Tomorrow I’m hopping on the bike, and riding up to Oregon to visit the good doctor. I’ve got a good feeling about things.”