It’s not easy to say but the first step is admitting you have a problem. I’ve been called an elitist about mixed martial arts maybe 20 times in the past, each one making me angrier than each instance prior. You see I’m never rude about anything nor am I ever rubbing what I know in anyone’s face. It seems to happen when I make a simple correction or point out the flaw in someone’s argument.

But something has always fascinated me. Why is our sport the only one where this happens? Why does every MMA argument around the internet have to deteriorate into, “how long have you been watching n00b!?” You don’t go to a football forum and see people being called Super Bowl n00bs before being told to watch more games. It’s like the world’s saddest pissing contest.

I finally cracked the case recently. People that were watching years before the boom get angry when new fans show up and dare to have opinions. They’re like that annoying concert going kid that knew who Fountains of Wayne were long before “Stacy’s Mom” became popular. “Oh man I saw them years ago, their old stuff is so much better.” Wow, you had heard of them before me? Give that man a medal. Apparently he thinks he’s part of the band and helped make them famous so he’s a much better human being than I. I mean he went to a show for Christ’s sake. A SHOW! You’re a winner. These people go around like they deserve a ribbon for hearing a song before you and it’s the reason I could never get into any type of music scene.

When I watch football with my group of friends every Sunday rooting on our favorite team some of them seemingly don’t understand basic concepts of the game. Meanwhile I’m wondering why teams with a Cover 2 defense don’t put the strong safety on Randy Moss to bump him off of his route and then let their top cover corner take him down the field since he’d be better at it in the first place. Not once have I been called an elitist. In fact they sometimes, are you ready for this, ask me questions. Yes, they actually ask me questions, get answers, and know something new. No name calling involved, they actually seek me out.

I love to cook and almost enrolled in culinary school but in all of the times I’ve cooked with someone that doesn’t know what they’re doing I’ve never been called an elitist for knowing what I’m talking about. There have been times someone was cooking a steak and put table salt on it instead of kosher salt and I had to bite my lip to not say anything since they were ruining the quality of the meat they were about to prepare. In the times I did say something not once has the other person screamed “ELITIST!” and left the kitchen.

But these are just the things I know and I’m passionate about. I love mixed martial arts, I love coaching basketball, I love the Xs and Os of football, I’m great at social studies (history, geography, government, politics), and I enjoy cooking. These are my “things.” I know more than 99% of people about these subjects just as everyone else has their own certain passions they enjoy and retain information in that I absolutely do not.

So why the “elitist” jab in mixed martial arts? I know where Latrell Sprewell went to college, I know Oral Roberts University plays their basketball games in the Mabee Center in Tulsa, and I know Super Bowl IX was 2-0 at halftime when the Vikings, led by Fran Tarkenton, mishandled a pitch for a safety. Again, never once called an elitist. Maybe “loser” or “nerd” but never an elitist. My worst subject? Science. I’m bordering on special ed on the subject. If you show me a physics equation with a gun to my head I’ll urinate myself. So what’s more important, solving a physics equation or knowing which event Hughes/Trigg I occurred on? I’m not cool, but I’ve never insulted anyone that was smarter than me on a subject. I’m open to shutting my mouth and learning things.

I hate the word elitist used in a mocking way in any form of life. I’m not endorsing a political candidate or discussing the subject in depth but if a political candidate calls another an elitist to speak to stupid voters I probably won’t be voting for that person. Oh Christ, he went to an Ivy League school, eats a healthy diet, and has been to other countries? HOW DARE we elect that person. I want someone that dropped out in middle school and has a healthy meth habit. He’s more like me, John Q. Public, and I can relate to that. Elite means the best, the select few. Elitism means that you believe elite, superb people should run the show. Well dumb people can’t have that and they stand together better than any other faction.

I don’t mean to get so far off topic. It’s simply that calling someone elite is alot like saying they’re handsome. It’s like using, “you have really white teeth,” as an insult. It’s not the insult that hurts it’s the fact the poorly educated person using it thinks that it does. When you call me an elitist it’s alot like saying, “hey, you’re smarter than me.” Look at Sherdog’s Jordan Breen. Yes, he can be annoying while openly discussing the 74lb prodigy he saw through internet feeds in his amateur fight in the Congo. But I also respect his opinion and more than once I’ve went out of my way to see what he had to say about something before I made up my mind. I’ll never insult someone for knowing something I don’t know, outside of maybe Star Trek or Dungeons and Dragons. That’s just sad.

Stupid people that call others elitists, I’ve had enough. This is my gauntlet and it’s officially thrown down. Stop being so insecure. This goes to some smart people as well with your n00b nonsense. You’re not better than ndizzle84 on Sherdog just because you watched the latest Japanese card live on a shady feed. Now you might be better than him because you can actually spell words and have healthy relationships with other human beings but the MMA knowledge is all very unimportant in the end. Knowledge of mixed martial arts makes you neither smarter nor dumber than anyone else. I’d like an MMA world that is just like all of the other discourse on the internet, full of racial slurs and homophobia like it should be.