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New Year’s Resolutions from Around the MMA Community

It’s officially 2012. You know what that means…..THE WORLD IS ENDING THIS YEAR! GET TO DA CHOPPA!

It also means everyone will make new years resolutions that are sure to be broken within the first 24 hours. In fact, my new years resolution was to not mention Taylor Swift once in my columns, and by already telling you all my resolution, thus mentioning the singers name, I’ve already screwed up.

Hopefully these fighters can stick to their (fake) resolutions better than I stuck to mine.

Dana White: Don’t drop an “F Bomb” the entire year. I’m 100% confident this will be broken in the first interview he does with Ariel Helwani.

Cain Velasquez and Jon Fitch: Stick to the game plan. They better start going for the takedown within the first minute of the fight or else risk getting knocked out again.

Donald Cerrone: Fight once a month. Cerrone fought five times in 2011. I’m pretty certain that if he stays healthy he can fight once a month with all the injuries that hit UFC cards.

Georges St. Pierre: Finish a fight. Come on man, you’ve got 25 minutes to put your opponent away and you’re one of the three best fighters in the world. Don’t let Samer Kadi down!

Chael Sonnen: Continue to upset the entire country of Brazil. If he ends up fighting and beating Anderson Silva in Brazil then I think it’s safe to say that this one will end up happening.

Dominick Cruz: Fight only on PPV. He better hope Urijah Faber keeps earning title shots.

Jon Jones: Get some fans. Beating Rashad Evans, who is just as disliked him, would be a good start.

Scott Coker: Not have Keith Jardine headline anymore events. No disrespect to “The Dean of Mean” but when he’s headlining your events in 2012, your organization isn’t in very good shape.

Josh Barnett: Win the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix. Because that might be the only way he ends up in the UFC.

B.J. Penn: Be known as the best ever. Is that too much to ask?

Dan Hardy: Come to WIN. You know, instead of coming to WAR.

Anthony Pettis: Prove to be a top-level lightweight. That way people won’t continue to think of him as only, “that guy who performed that cool kick off the cage.”

Vitor Belfort: Stop global warming. That’s the only way he can truly create a better atmosphere.

Quinton Jackson: Only fight in Japan. Since apparently he doesn’t like American fans and doesn’t perform as well in front of them.

Arianny Celeste: Get title fights to be more rounds. The more rounds a fight goes, the higher her IQ score is according to Chael Sonnen.

The Diaz Brothers: Avoid shoving during any pre-fight staredown. Given the intensity of Carlos Condit, I’m fairly certain that this one won’t happen.

Tim Kennedy: Secure a cameo on the TV show Homeland. Come on Showtime, you claim you’re behind MMA and Strikeforce, make this happen. Kennedy would be great as one of those marines standing around and rapping to Eminem lyrics.

Brock Lesnar: Beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. And avoid body shots in the process.

Kazushi Sakuraba: Beat Triple H at Wrestlemania. Alright, so this one obviously isn’t happening, but I’d like to see Sakuraba stick to pro-wrestling like he did at DREAM New Years Eve 2011 and not fight.

The Nogueira Brothers: Keep smiling. Keeping shining. Knowing you can always count on me, for sure. That’s what brothers are for.

Michael Schiavello: Have Frank Trigg always be his “verbal sparring partner” for every show. If you watched the HDNet broadcast of DREAM, then you saw Schiavello throw out his back carrying his broadcast partners. He and Trigg have great chemistry and should never be broken up.

Antonio Silva: Learn how to defend against the overhand right. He better hope he never faces Dan Henderson.

Frank Mir: Retire Lesnar. What’s this?!? Damn you Alistair Overeem!

Frankie Edgar: Avoid fighting Ben Henderson twice. 2010 was Penn. 2011 was Gray Maynard. Will Edgar finally fight more than one opponent in 2012?

Tito Ortiz: Retire with a victory. Not many fighters have done it. Maybe Tito can finally out-do Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture.

Leonard Garcia: Develop a second punch. His fastball punches haven’t been working well as of late, he needs to get a new strikeout pitch before he ends up like Jonathan Papelbon.

Ronda Rousey: Collect more arms. This could be a tough one if she steps up in competition to take on Sarah Kaufman, Miesha Tate, or Cristiane Santos.

Jade Bryce: Beat out Brittney Palmer for my affection. Let me tell you, you may not think it’s possible, but I promise you that it is.

Happy New Year everyone! What are your MMA-related resolutions? Share in the “Comments” section below!

  • Dufresne says:

    Brock Lesnar: Beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. And avoid body shots in the process.
    The Undertaker doesn’t lose at Wrestlemania. Period.

    Otherwise, fun list :)


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