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5 Oz. 2009 MMA Awards: Worst Fight of the Year

cansecoLadies and gentlemen, it’s time! It has been an extraordinary year of ups and down for all of those involved in the rapidly growing world of mixed martial arts, but all things must come to an end, and it’s time for FiveOuncesofPain.com to dish out our official year end awards for the crazy year that was 2009.

We’ll be diving headfirst into a series of fifteen end of the year awards, with a new award being distributed every single day through December 31 with a special two part New Years Eve year-end award extravaganza.

In this edition we have FiveOuncesofPain’s top five absolute stinkers for the year 0f 2009:

1. Hong-man Choi submits Jose Canseco with punches during “DREAM 9: Super Hulk Grand Prix 2009 Opening Round

Only in Japan. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned freak show bout, but even the most morbid of fight fans would have trouble enjoying this pummeling of a former baseball diamond legend that never should have been allowed to take place.

2. Anderson Silva defeats Thales Leites via unanimous decision during UFC 97

Time and a highlight reel knockout over Forrest Griffin at light heavyweight have served to erase this atrocious performance by”The Spider” from the memory of most. We can point fingers all day long at who’s fault it was for this bout totally sucking, but it takes two to tango, and neither fighter showed up to fight in what was without a doubt one of the hardest five rounds to watch in the history of the UFC.

3. Kimbo Slice defeats Houston Alexander via unanimous decision during “The Ultimate Fighter 10 Finale

If Silva/Leites was among the worst five rounds to watch in Octagon history, you can be sure this fifteen minute staredown between Kimbo and Houston was among the very worst three. Who would have expected for this fight to be on this list when word first spread about the possible match-up? Few, I’ll tell you that much, very few.

4. Jake Shields defeats Jason “Mayhem” Miller via unanimous decision during “Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers

“Mayhem” went on to accuse Shields of humping his leg and giving him staph infection during this five round grapplefest, and while there’s not proof that the staph came from Shields, there’s no questioning the fact that there was a good amount of leg humping going on in this one. You can thank Fedor and Brett Rogers for saving this card in a major way.

5. Randy Couture defeats Brandon Vera via unanimous decision during UFC 105

Randy had a game plan going into this one, and you could argue that he executed it almost to the tee, but that didn’t make it any less painful to watch.

*Honorable mentions for more than half of the fights that took place during TUF 10

27 COMMENTS
  • Makington says:

    Jose Caseco and Hong Man Choi was actually my pick for Fight of the Year buuuuut /sarcasm

    Good list Cory, but it brings back painful memories. Silva/Leites might be my pick for absolute worst fight of all time actually. Anderson walks towards Thales, Thales falls, Anderson stares, they stand up, rinse, repeat. The only good thing about that fight was during rounds when they showed GSP on the big screen and the crowd cheered harder than they did the entire fight.

  • Curly Biddles says:

    I agree with Silva-Leites. Worst fight of the year by far. The Vera-Couture fight was pretty terrible also.
    I thought Canseco gave it his all for the 40 seconds or so of gas he brought. He landed a nice overhand right and a couple kicks. Wasn’t a snoozefest by any stretch since it finished quickly too. As far as Choi fights go, this was one of the more entertaining ones.
    Kimbo-Alexander: well yeah very dissapointing fight, but Kimbo came to fight and I was entertained despite the sad excuse for a game plan Alexander came with. He looked scared of the beard and that alone was hilarious and entertaining to me.
    Miller-Shields: I have never that quantity awesome escapes and technical grappling occur in anything but sparring and exhibitions. Miller had Shields finished also if he had 5 more seconds at the end of round 2. Shields of course did his share of humping but he was going for the finish over and over but could not finish Miller. So although frustrating this was very far from worst fight of the year. Also I was present at this event in Chicago and I will tell you that Fedor-Rogers did not need to save this card. It was a truly awesome night of fights and finishes.
    Couture-Vera: Not sure why they made this matchup to begin with. I can’t really disagree with it being in the top 5.
    They don’t count as official bouts, but there are several TUF matchups that could have easily made this list.

  • Curly Biddles says:

    haha just noticed your honorable mention comment at the bottom of the article, nice!

  • Angry Mike says:

    The biggest problem with Miller/Shields was the rule in Strikeforce against the use of elbows on a downed opponent. It’s a stupid rule because it results in stalemates on the ground.

  • xtreme_machine says:

    Yeah that fight made me dislike Jake Sheilds

  • king mah mah says:

    Good list. Only I would have put Anderson-Thales as number 1. I mean Thales was falling down when Anderson didn’t even hit him! Thats ridiculous! Not to mention the fact that we had to watch this for five rounds!

  • OMNIpotus says:

    Wow. I couldn’t have made the list better myself. Good job.

  • Jstew3785 says:

    Great list. I think like everyone else I would have Silva-Leites #1.

  • Jstew3785 says:

    Scott Junk vs Matt Mittrione- Least Conditioned fighter(s) of the year

  • rage says:

    i know im going to get some stick for this comment but dont any1 think clay guida vs nate diaz at ufc 94 was bad that would definatly be in my top 5 worst fights of 2009 im a big guida fan and i know he always brings but man that fight was boring

  • Jstew3785 says:

    Spencer Fisher vs Caol Uno was pretty bad too.

  • Jak says:

    Perfect list Mr. Brady. Those were all terrible.

    All i will say is that Leites should get a “worst fighter” of the year award.

    Leites/SIlva- absolutely terrible
    Leites/Sakara- terrible
    Leites/Lister- absolutely terrible

  • Cory Brady says:

    Thanks Jak, and you have no idea how close the Sakara and Lister bouts came to making the list. I will agree with your sentiment about Leites this year though. However, instead of worst fighter, I would change it to the “Most Boring Fighter of 2009”, haha.

    BTW, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! A big thanks to all of you guys for your continuous support of MMA and 5 Oz. You can be sure that 2010 will be another tremendous year for the sport, and it will without a doubt be the biggest year for Five Ounces we have seen to date. We have big plans for the future. Thanks for coming along for the ride guys, we appreciate it.

  • saerbarnet says:

    Shogun Rua vs Mark Coleman obviously deserves as much of an honorable mention as the TUF10 fights does since Rua and Coleman set the bar for the TUF10-cast to follow with their blatant lack of cardio training leading up to their fight.

  • Unabomberman says:

    I actually had fun watching the Canseco bout for all the wrong reasons…

  • KTru says:

    Canseco v HMC was not a fight

    It was a steroid-using former baseball player against a freakshow

    Therefore it does not qualify

  • fraz says:

    Re: The honorable mentions section.

    Your generous holiday spirit is coloring your analysis..

    Just “half”? I’d say 80%. Easily.

  • Makington says:

    Or all of them.

  • Nick Havok says:

    Awesome choices! I agree with all of them except Choi vs. Canseco.

    Don’t get me wrong, it definitely should be on the list…but at #1?

    I humbly disagree. Yeah, the fight sucked, but you can’t tell me that it was entertaining the first time you saw it. I mean Canseco comes right out and clocks Choi in the face! That alone was amazing in my opinion.

    No, I think #1 should be Shields vs. Miller.

    F*ck that long ass leg humping fight.

  • Wow…i think Nate Quarry and Kalib Starnes should’ve been on the list…I dont care it was last year, that fight sucked enough to stay on the list for five years straight. Other than that AWESOME list Cory…in a year of some of the most remarkable bouts in MMA History (Cerrone V Henderson and Varner, Nog Vs Randy, Guida Vs. Sanchez and the entire Torres Vs. Bowles card) we’ve still managed to see a few that suck. I just wonder what everyone else’s opinion of worst fight ever was?

    Royce Gracie Vs. Ken Shamrock from UFC 5 is my vote

  • Nick Havok says:

    superdavenorcal: I just wonder what everyone else’s opinion of worst fight ever was?
    Royce Gracie Vs. Ken Shamrock from UFC 5 is my vote

    Ken Shamrock vs. Dan Severn from UFC 9: Motor City Madness gets my vote.

    Jeez that fight sucked.

    Ken Shamrock likes to blame the fact that Michigan had a law that prevented closed-handed strikes at the time…and since he claims he didn’t want to be a cheater (haha!) that is the reason he didn’t punch Dan. And he also claims that is why Dan won…because he cheated and threw punches.

    Either way…worst fight ever.

  • Rece Rock says:

    Shields def. got exposed during that fight with Mayhem… shit 30 more seconds and he would have gotten choked out by a guy who was supposed to not even have a chance. Jake looked bad in that fight, Hendo won’t even break a sweat with that kid.

  • Rece Rock says:

    Kimbo/Alexander had the potential to change both men’s career in a postive way and it did quite the opposite…I think Alexander was expecting Kimbo to get frustrated and charge in blindly… never happended. And I think Kimbo actually respected the abilities of Alexander and kept his distance until he saw opportunites which were few and far… neither displayed the heart or the conditioning required to take advantage of the opportunity they were given…

  • felrod says:

    Cory: you could of made short work of this list by just writing: “See TUF 10”.
    To your credit: I would rather let you repeatedly slam a door on my nutsack until I memorize Barbra Streisand’s entire record catalog than have to re-watch any of the fights on your list.

  • felrod says:

    worst fight ever: Kalib Starnes vs Nate Quarry, anything on cops.

  • edub says:

    Jake Shields defeats Jason “Mayhem” Miller via unanimous decision during “Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers”

    “Mayhem” went on to accuse Shields of humping his leg and giving him staph infection during this five round grapplefest, and while there’s not proof that the staph came from Shields, there’s no questioning the fact that there was a good amount of leg humping going on in this one. You can thank Fedor and Brett Rogers for saving this card in a major way.

    Oh yea just to get some negative hits… I told you soo!!!!

  • sexy-yama says:

    shields gave him staph u seen the pic omg nasty

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