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Levick: ‘War Machine’ talks his way out of another job

First he changes his name legally to War Machine because of a trademark issue with TNA professional pro wrestler Rhino who uses that moniker as his nickname (why does he get to have two nicknames?).

Did the guy have to have the “War Machine” name so bad that he had to get changed to his actual legal name? As if just going by Jon Koppenhaver would have been the worst thing in the world?

Shortly after that he is released from his UFC contract for refusing to fight Brandon Wolff after claiming Wolff was too much of a no name and not worth the trouble to fight him.

Around the same time he had the gall to claim that Evan Tanner’s tragic death was suicide. Saying that although Tanner didn’t shoot himself in the head it was apparent to him Evan had no plans on coming back from that desert excursion.

Next on his hit list was UFC light heavyweight champion Rashad Evans, whom War Machine said “Could suck a d**k.” This came on the heels of one of War Machine’s teammates Frank Lester having defeated Rashad’s brother Lance at a small show in New Mexico. He went on to explain that after the fight Lester approached Rashad and told him it was honor to meet him offered his hand, to which Rashad refused. He said Rashad looked Lester up and down made a snide remark and proceeded to walk away.

While I can see him getting upset about having a teammate disrespected there are better ways to go about it. He basically lowered himself down to Rashad’s level with some of the statements he made.
And just when you thought it was all over he comes back with some nasty comments about our new president Barack Obama.

Posting on his myspace page, which has become his favorite outlet to vent his frustrations and absurd comments, War Machine went on a rampage when it came to Obama. He titled the blog “F**k an Obama.” He said he could care less about the new president and called him a “motherf**ker.” Complaining that he was tired of seeing Obama’s face or hearing his name at all times, Koppenhaver said that “the liberals and the blacks are happy about change.”

He proceeded the angry diatribe by referring to Obama as “a rich white guy who will not change anything” and said that Obama “couldn’t understand the plight of most Americans because he was rich before he came into office.” Stating Obama had no idea what it was like to struggle he also called him a “rich f—–.”
Got all of that? Good. Because the best is yet to come.

Bordering on the insane, Koppenhaver said he “hopes someone smokes the motherf**ker and every other president who comes into office until there is an actual leader who is truly one of the people.”

Koppenhaver’s incoherent rantings cost helped get him cut from the UFC but he rebounded nicely by getting a contract with the upstart Bellator Fighting Championships. Bellator had planned to give Koppenhaver a chance to compete in their upcoming eight-man welterweight tournament, which will be televised on ESPN Deportes.

File it away as another blown opportunity by the artist formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver.

“Seems War Machine is being censored again,” Koppenhaver began to say in a recent blog on his infamous MySpace account. “I can’t speak my mind at all without all the faggot higher-ups in the industry getting their panties in a wad. Just how my Evan Tanner bulletin got me kicked out of the UFC it seems that I have been kicked off the Bellator show before it has even begun. Seems they don’t like it when their fighters speak their mind on the politics of the USA and its [expletive]-ass presidents… I’m not changing for anyone or any dollar amount. I could have earned over a quarter million in that tournament but I don’t give a [expletive].”

Apparently “‘War Machine” is someone who doesn’t believe in change or personal growth (and doesn’t understand why advocating the killing of a sitting president is wrong). It’s obvious that he cannot see that his words can hurt people just as much as his hands and feet. I find it funny that he never mentions the fact that the UFC stuck by him even after he was arrested for a felony assault outside of a gym in September of 2007. That was his second chance which most fighters never get to see. This guy blew that opportunity with his own stupid remarks and still was given yet another chance. Once again he blew it — not ESPN, not the UFC — but War Machine. He has no one to blame but himself.

Hopefully we will no longer be subjected to his crass and disrespectful comments. There are plenty of fighters around who would love to have had the opportunities that he has had.

  • Ft. Dub says:

    Interesting, he didn’t seem like such a prick on TUF, but this is clearly a case of a reality tv star having no concept of reality. He is a fairly one-dimensional fighter who has zero defining wins. Good luck with your new blogging career WM.

  • mindone says:

    what an idiot..
    the guys iq must be in the lower 70’s..

  • Austin says:

    Nominated for the next guy to kill himself.

  • jj says:

    Haw haw, I always thought the guy was an idiot for legally changing his name to War Machine and then I find out all this other stuff. Didn’t The Ultimate Warrior legally change his name like that after he was fired from the WWE?

    I’m glad there are promoters that understand the massive liability these types of idiots have not only for their promotions but for the sport as a whole. Maybe he’ll find someone that appreciates his realness at his new job as a jiz mopper.

  • Angry Mike says:

    I think “noise machine” is a better name for this character.

  • starvenger says:

    He’s probably lucky that only TNA went after him for using “War Machine”. If he was someone famous, he’d probably be paying royalties to Marvel Comics to use it.

  • egad81 says:

    The only thing I really have a issue with is that War Machine does have a 1st Amendment right to FREEDOM OF SPEECH and yet no one wants to hear him talk.
    Just sucks for him the companys have the right to fire their employees for executing their 1st amendment rights.
    The guy does have a HUGE case of foot in mouth syndrome…. I bet he would to well in Japan. They love a freak show over there.

  • hindsightufuk says:

    why write this piece? why even air it?

    like you say there are plenty other fighters who deserve the coverage, why waste the column space on this guy?

    Editor’s Note: Most major websites addressed Koppenhaver’s release. We’re not alone in covering this story.

  • Dr.Stoppage says:

    And finally ,apparently War Machine has done enough to deserve an article on 5 oz of Pain.
    Doesn’t that make you feel kind of awful and dirty inside?
    Kinda makes me want to unregister now.

    Editor’s Note: Stoppage, do a search on the site and you will see this isn’t the first time we’ve covered the artist formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver.

  • Sergio Hernandez says:

    Regardless of whether or not 5 Oz has reported on War Machine in the past or if other websites are covering the story, this column is really unnecessary.

    The news posting, really, was enough but its your site. That’s just my two cents.

  • Sam Caplan says:

    Guys, we’ve been doing 10-12 posts a day. Plenty of content to choose from. I recommend that if you don’t like something, don’t read it. The fact that so many people are commenting on whether the story is relevant or not only reaffirms my decision to have the situation addressed on the site. We track views and number of comments on this site. The best way to tell us that something doesn’t belong on this site is to not read it and not comment on it.

  • Dr.Stoppage says:

    Hi Mr. Caplan,
    I have no desire to research articles on War Machine.
    Unless maybe you have penned one.
    I appreciate your comment,and please take mine as a loyal fan of this site.
    I’m not gonna not read or comment on an article written here if I have an opinion on it, just for tracking purposes.
    That would just be wrong.
    You gotta understand what I mean.
    Are you a fan of War Machine and his antics?

  • Sam Caplan says:

    Stoppage, I appreciate your loyalty but it’s a big MMA world and we have hundreds of thousands of visitors that come to this site on a monthly basis. I’m resigned to the fact that we’re not going to please everyone. That’s why we cover as much as possible. We know you’re not going to like everything we do… we just hope we publish enough content that interests you to keep you as a loyal reader.

  • Grappo says:

    I didn’t know any of this. Changing his name, MySpace rants about presidential assassination, being picked up and dropped by Bellator… I guess I missed those articles. I think I remember hearing about him talking trash about Evan Tanner after his death… Anyway, he is a fairly well-known fighter due to his TUF appearance, and pieces about his career (or lack thereof due to extreme stupidity) are newsworthy.

  • wardog says:

    War Machine haha! He didn’t even win TUF and then acts like he’s some sort of superstar in the UFC. Now he gets booted from another organization for his idiotic comments once again. What an idiot!

  • It is impossible to please everyone all the time but the goal is to inform the great readers of this site og what is going on in the world of MMA. Even though War Machine has pissed off a bunch of people with his antics, it is relevant news when he gets dropped from an up and coming organization run by the world wide leader in Sports ESPN. I truly appreciate any and all comments because I value your opinions whether or not they agree with mine.

  • Dr.Stoppage says:

    That’s why your on that side and I’m on this side.

    Hey Sam,you know I love it here…
    Hell,I’m pretty sure I’ll read the next T.A.F.K.A. Jon Koppenhaver article that comes out.
    But if any of your writers ever puts up an article about Bo “REDRUM” Cantrell,well,
    I may have to rethink my time on the computer.

    “GSP was framed”

  • Dr.Stoppage says:

    By the way,you had me at,”I appreciate your loyalty…”

  • Hey Wardog nice to see you over here. Welcome to Five Oz Of Pain where we always welcome intelligent MMA fans!

  • Dr. Sardonicus says:

    Here is an example to avoid. Interesting how he was able to hide that side of his personality of TUF. Who’da thunk it!

  • Cathedron says:

    I’m betting there was more to it than just political rantings. Just like I don’t think his comments about Evan Tanner had ANYTHING to do with his dismissal from the UFC. They were looking to trim the fat and any no-name fighter who refuses a fight is just asking for it.

    If he thinks Brandon Wolff wasn’t big enough to fight, he’s going to be awfully discouraged when he finds that he’s going to be stuck on the local circuit for the rest of his very short career.

    “Dude, I ordered a Big Mac value meal and the guy who gave me my fries had ‘War Machine’ on his nametag. It was really funny. I wonder why he calls himself that.”

  • takimeathead says:


    Man, I love 5 Oz’s!!! hahahaha

  • ctownhood says:

    Pretty sure making threats like that against the Pres will earn you a visit from the Secret Service. Nice work Koppenhaver. Also, very classy racial and homophobic remarks.


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