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Pros and Cons: UFC 86

CON: “My feed went out.” Go to any chatroom or message board and this will always come up. I don’t care, shut your mouth.

“What a great left hook”
“Man that landed hard”
“I wonder if he can take this round”
“MY FEED WENT OUT”
“n e 1 elses feed go out?”
“OMG wtf feed!?”
“WHERE’S DA FEED?!”

You should all be punched in the face. I’ll remember to cry for you when my satellite bill comes every month. I don’t even care if that’s what you do just be quiet about it. Instead the discussion becomes centralized around your stupid feed and the problems you’re having with it. All of the sudden the room changes from “UFC 82 discussion” to “Bobby’s feed is dead.” This is a leading reason why when I’m king I’m going to install a spring-loaded boxing glove into every computer monitor in the world. When you say something about your feed during a PPV and hit enter a large boxing glove will fly out of your monitor and punch you in the face. It will also happen when you type things like “n e 1” and “u r” like you’re a twelve-year-old girl making a text message. It’s like someone complaining at your wedding about bad food or bad seating. This is costing me $40,000, I genuinely could not care less if you’re unhappy about something you selfish, piece of crap diva. Plus this would stop stupid people from getting near their computers. “No man, I’m not touching that thing. Last time I went online to sherdog.net my nose was broken.” GOOD. They’re called life lessons.

PRO: 10-8 rounds. I’m neutral on this. I’ve been calling for more 10-8 rounds forever, in a short three or five round fight a dominant round could mean everything. Yet some rounds are complete butt kickings and it’s 10-9 while other rounds are much closer and 10-8. Look, I think Rampage won but I’m not really mad about it. It’s hardly one of the top 20 worst decisions ever. But is there any clear ruling about 10-8 rounds? Any at all? Yeah, we know, Franklin/Loiseau and Quarry/Starnes had some 10-8 rounds but outside of someone getting completely obliterated what is the criteria they’re given? I just want clarification, something crazy I ask of everyone judging my sports that have no rules or governing body to lead or punish them with anything specific.

PRO: Rampage’s attitude. I don’t think enough credit was given to Rampage after the fight saying he got beat up. You have to realize how rare that is for a guy to be in a close fight and then just completely agree with the decision out loud. Sure after the fight both he and Juanito said they thought he won but it takes a certain kind of guy to train for months and have this rivalry and then go out after a close fight and say he lost. Props sir, props.

CON: Joe Rogan sometimes. I like Rogan. I like Goldberg. But has anyone else noticed that sometimes Rogan just randomly comments for one guy? Fighter A will land a hard right and there is silence and then Fighter B will land a mediocre left to the body and he’ll react like a brutal knockout just happened? It’s not just one occurrence, it will happen during entire fights sometimes. You’ll see a guy land a sick kick with maybe a passing, “nice kick there,” and then when the other guy hits a softer kick he screams, “NICE KICK!” Does anyone else feel like he’s watching something else? Like he’s looking at one guy and commenting on every single shot that one guy hits. This isn’t the first time nor will it be the last. Again, I like Rogan. I have purchased his stand-up comedy on DVD. But this gets really frustrating sometimes when it’s really obvious.

PRO: Cote getting a title shot. I know alot of people are saying after that boring fight with Almeida that Cote didn’t do enough to earn a shot against Anderson Silva. Bull. No, I’m not disagreeing with you, I just feel if you advertise something as a #1 contender fight the winner should get a title shot. You don’t get to play that card and then pull it back and shrug your shoulders. You sold the fight as a #1 contender fight now accept the consequences. I laughed out loud (“lol” for you youngsters) when I saw the first advertisement for this PPV and the second bout they hyped was Patrick Cote. Really? You have so many fighters you’re releasing guys but Patrick Cote is the 2nd main event on your card? Hell no, he’s getting a title shot. You can’t sell that as something more than it is and then just not follow through. Anderson Silva vs Patrick Cote. Don’t you dare do otherwise.

PRO: Melvin Guillard vs Jesse Taylor. Make it happen. I’m so glad Melvin is back as my comedy arsenal (or lack thereof) is doubled again. Can we find a catch weight for these fellas? Maybe the winner can get a tutor or a book or something. Maybe someone to just pat them on the head and tell them they’re pretty. Maybe that “Dog Whisperer” fellow Cesar Milan would be available. Forget the fight, what about a new edition of the tv show “The Odd Couple” where these two live together in a house and have to work a job tutoring children? Or getting tutored by children. You know you’d watch it.

PRO: Unified Rules of Ruining Undercards. We all know that recently the Association of Boxing Commissions went out of their way to try and overstep their bounds and make rules that no one cares about. Well as someone that also has no authority and that no one will listen to, I say we need rules for posting MMA event results on the internet. I’ve said before the biggest event so far in my life (Fedor vs Cro Cop) was ruined by Sherdog when I went to the site the day of the fight (my own fault) and saw a huge picture of Fedor with his arm raised. Okay, pictures are just unnecessary. There is no way of avoiding a picture even if you know what to expect. I say we can post live Japanese results as we please. It’s 4am, if you don’t care to know the live DREAM or Sengoku results why the hell are you on the site? You can post results once a card is over but not before unless it’s play-by-play with a link. Now when it comes to the UFC you know full well they frequently show undercard fights to fill time during the main card (time that’s not filled by the latest Jason Statham film or the newest horrible Spike show). Why on Earth would you post live results available without a click for the undercard? This is a unique situation, they might show the fights while I’m watching this card live I paid to view. What in your head would make you post the undercard results and ruin it for people? There are places to find live undercard results, we all know this, but why would you post them publicly where no one is expecting to see them without a click? Maybe I want to check out the weigh-in results from last night or read a fight preview. What I’m not expecting is to see the four undercard fights spoiled just before the PPV starts. This helps maybe 2 people and hurts maybe 74. Someone explain to me how this ratio is responsible.

PRO: Other sports. Let me just go ahead and PRO Federer vs Nadal as probably the greatest tennis match I’ve ever seen. A statement backed by 7-time singles champ John McEnroe immediately after the match. Also another PRO to Torres vs Holt in boxing on Saturday night. One of the best rounds you will ever see in your entire life and it’s unbelievable even seeing it a fourth or fifth time. Well done sports.

28 COMMENTS
  • pab says:

    not to be nitpicky, but doesn’t this website post the undercard results live with no link?

  • 3OAM says:

    Concerning Joe Rogan, I know what you’re saying, but I’m not so annoyed by it. He’s commenting on the guy he’s rooting for/interested in rather than the whole fight.

    Maybe (probably) he has money on certain dudes.

  • Joey says:

    Holt won that fight with a headbutt. BS

  • TMAC says:

    Huck – great points on ‘page’s ‘tude and a Melvin and the Mongo the Monkey Boy reality show, just don’t forget to have Flava Flave host.

    But your unified rules rant was too much of a personal issue. Want to know why live results will continue to be posted? Bettors. Guys with dough on the undercard fights want information ASAP, you don’t provide it, they don’t come back to your site. And unfortunately for you, degenerate gamblers outnumber those who don’t want to know who won in case its showed on the PPV. I really don’t care either way, but my suggestion is to hide your eyes.

  • “not to be nitpicky, but doesn’t this website post the undercard results live with no link?”

    YES

    “Holt won that fight with a headbutt. BS”

    YES

  • D says:

    @Cote title shot – I actually hadn’t heard about this until 86 happened, so my question is: Where the hell is Okami’s title shot!? Is Cote given one after that, or does he just leapfrog the Japanese fighter because he can speak English with a french accent? j/k But seriously, why is Okami next in line? He has a “victory” over Silva, challenged Franklin and destroyed Tanner (plus all his other MW victories).

    @10-8 rounds – umm how about sorting out why two judges gave Griffin round 1!? I think the judges need to go on a NBA-style grading system (maybe the refs too) and attend regular seminars to understand the finer points of scoring MMA. There will always be disagreements, but this is just crazy!

    @Joe Rogan – I can take his weird reactions because of his insane ability to predict BJJ transitions and correctly identify moves, etc. Goldie on the other hand is really pissing me off. He’s become less of a color commentator and more of a complete mouthpiece for the UFC and a cliche monkey. I mean I know he has to do promos, etc. and I work in TV so I know the drill, but his cliche lines are making me groan. “Chris Lytle wants to Seek and Destroy Josh Koscheck….” Seriously! He even incorporated Joe Stevenson’s kid’s name into a bit, “Stevenson’s 7-year-old Max is watching this and Tibau is gonna take it to the max here in round 1.” I’m paraphrasing on both accounts, but I swear they happened.
    Also, in every other sport around color commentators will break the read (of a promo, etc.) if the action warrants it. Goldie, though, just keeps reading. Either he needs to stop or Rogan needs to jump in, simple as that.

  • Gabber says:

    Man, the Rogan thing is bang on. I used to like him, he’s funny, he’s somewhat articulate and he holds the best UFC commentator line ever…

    Phil Baroni : “In my fight with Matt Lindland…”

    Joe Rogan : “Wow, that guy must haunt you in your dreams.. (after Baroni talked about his fight with Matt Lindland the whole fight!)

    That aside, I think he’s getting tired, between him and Mike “I just railed up some White Lightning off the back of the Toilet Seat” Goldberg, the UFC is in need of some new commentators. Randy was ideal, objective and articulate. The whole Rogan thing spoiled for me way back at Miller vs St-Pierre. He was convinced and tried to convince everyone Mayhem was going to make it a fight, not quite. The quick flip Mayhem did off the mat only for GSP to tattoo his shin across his face only emphasized the point. 😛

    And yes, Federer vs Nadal was amazing. It was awesome to actually witness some history and headlines in a good sport that has been lacking them since Agassi shaved all his hair off.

  • it seemed like he was calling everything for forrest. like he (rogan) was pulling for griffin. at one point in the fight rogan said “nice right hook” about forrest and it was rampage who did the hook. imo this was a fix for dana white to validate t.u.f. i’ll bet 1000 buck forrest doesn’t defend the belt once unless he is given a can

  • Evan says:

    I do think this is a hige part of the trolling found on so many message boards…people are seeing low quality fights on their computer instead of shelling out the money for it to look good on TV.

    “CON: “My feed went out.” Go to any chatroom or message board and this will always come up. I don’t care, shut your mouth.

    “MY FEED WENT OUT”
    “n e 1 elses feed go out?”
    “OMG wtf feed!?”
    “WHERE’S DA FEED?!””

  • Matt says:

    On Rogan: I think it’s just the way he’s seated at ringside. If you spot him and Goldie on the telecast, Goldie watches the monitors and sees various angles, Joe’s watchin through the cage. With fighters tryin for octogon control, langauge barriers, and crowd noise some guys just try to stick to one close area. This could lead to the “one sided” commentary. Just a thought!

  • Fabricio says:

    Stop your whining about the undercards. Whats up? never been to an MMA website before? Crazy little thing you might be missing. This little thing you publish your writings on is called the WORLD WIDE WEB not the North American Internets ( for the kids) , not the “post what Huckaby can’t find or readily see in his area or timezone but screw everyone else around the globe”ernet.

    Stop crying Mike, don’t visit on gameday, don’t read the PBP if you don’t want the answer to the question don’t ask it.

    I remember one time I wanted to check and see what day the NFL draft was, So I went to NFL.com , it was superbowl sunday and wouldn’t you know those douche bags didn’t realize I had to Tivo the game and they put the f’n winner right there on the front page, with a picture, and score and everything. ………………….Those A holes at ESPN did the same f’n thing the next year……………I wish they would stop, Mike thinks spoilers in our timezones are a bad thing, and if Mike wants it , that is how it should be

  • MMAFan says:

    On another MMA website, apparent bias in Joe Rogan’s reporting was discussed and replies indicated favoritism for a particular fighter.

    As for Mike Goldberg, I am mildly amused by some of the stupid remarks that come out of his mouth. But this retired teacher’s pet peeve is with his grammatical inaccuracy, especially when he inserts an unnecessary preposition in a relative clause (e.g., the opponent in which he will face) or repeats the preposition at the end of the clause (e.g., a look at the cage in which they will fight in). The man is doing nothing to improve the illiteracy problem that is too prevalent across America.

    Nonetheless, I do like both men and enjoy listening to their commentatiing.
    They both have a voice that beckons to the ear and deliver an energy and vitality that keep the broadcast interesting.

  • MMAFan says:

    Sorry for the missed typo in “commentating”

  • banditt2 says:

    i read on here some where that Dana White said that Okami does get a title shot and that Cote gets the winner of that fight.

    can some one conferm?

  • is0butane says:

    What, no mention of Rogan’s elegant description of lydle’s bleeding “goat’s vag..”!? That’s up there with his rape choke comment… Say what you will about Rogan.. he’s just plain funny.

  • banditt2 says:

    from this web site

    According to UFC President Dana White, Patrick Cote has earned himself a title shot. The plan is to have Anderson Silva fight with Yushin Okami, then slide Cote into the title fight against the winner.

  • HexRei says:

    I don’t think I’ve seen an MMA commentator that could call a fight perfectly. Sometimes a particular fighter’s style just evokes more comments from a commentator with a given background, especially a guy who speaks from the top of his head like Joe sometimes does. And sometimes it does seem like he is just really stoked on one fighter.

    I don’t see it as a huge issue since the commentary shouldn’t be affecting the ref or judges, and it doesn’t seem *that* biased to me.

  • bubbafat says:

    10-8 rds.- my understanding was that you had to do virtually nothing to get an 8? Rogan’s not in there for his journalistic objectivity. I thought Cote was toast when it hit the ground. I’d like to see Taylor fight at least once to see whether or not he’s improved, but Guillard’s a lost cause even with the quick KO. He’s an earbiter if I’ve ever seen one. And, they probably went a little overboard on the weight div. restructure, but I like that they split the HW div. Covering the mouth was always cheap to me too.

  • mike wolfe says:

    The only way I’ll ever watch tennis is if they allow some form of full contact. How about you’re allowed to lob a return, leap the net and tackle the receiving player as long as the ball is still in the air? And no pads. Now that would be cool.

  • steak knife says:

    MMAFan’s English lesson @ #12 is awesome.

    Joe Rogan missed a telecast last year (I forgot which one). Bottomline: He might be annoying, but you miss him when he’s gone. He’s not going anywhere.

  • derreckla says:

    Joe Rogan

    He is great. He is always informitive about bjj and what’s going to happen next. He does however, get inside of Dana WHite’s Hype machine, making you believe a fights going to be better then it is.

    I love Goldberg. He is a cartoon charecter. We get a crackup on Goldbergs face when he says “with me as always JOE Rogan” and turns to rogan like an inch away from his grill and holds a look like he had his forehead surgicaly crinkled ala robert deniro. Watch it it’s funny as hell…

  • Neo says:

    Joe Rogan.

    He’s like a rabid fan while commentating. If you go back and watch the GSP fight with Karo, Rogan was going on about how Karo is so dangerous and that GSP should watch out and all the while Karo was getting pounded to a pulp. Same with Chuck-Jardine fight. He made it look as if the fight was one sided. Sure Jardine won but it was a close match. Again Rogan was calling only the Jardine shots. Hopefully the judges aren’t listening to his commentary!

  • JJ says:

    My take on Joe Rogan is this:

    The guy has gone on record, a number of times, to say that he isn’t really interested in non-combat sports. He knows nothing about baseball, football, ice-hockey, whatever. However he does watch, and has for a long time, every boxing, mma, kick-boxing, whatever combat sport he can find. Because of that, I think he’s seen a lot of fighter improve as time goes on.

    Yes, he probably is biased and wants one to win more than other, whether it’s because he has money on the fight, or he’s a friend, or whatever. I don’t think anyone can watch a fight and be truly impartitial. I like both Forrest and Rampage from what I’ve seen on tv, they both seem like nice guys, and yet I was rooting for Rampage. Did I want to see Forrest get hurt? No. Did I think Rampage was gonna win? yes. But from a commentators point of view, if you’re seeing a fighter who normally throws a sloppy left hook, and suddenly a crisp quick left hook comes out, you are going to say “WOW, what a left hook” because you didn’t expect such a good shot from that fighter.

    If you’re watching a World Champ Muay Thai fighter, and he throws a powerful leg kick, well, it’s not going to be that impressive, because he throws that every day, so yes the response would be less.

    People give him a hard time, but the truth is Joe Rogan is a huge MMA fan. he remembers details of fights that most of us have probably never even heard of. He gets excited because he really has one of the best seats in the house.

  • Qmonster says:

    regarding Rogan commentating,,, I can’t agree enough with you! a perfect example of 1 sided commentating is the Jardine & Gump fight … Joe was talking like Gump was dominating the whole fight , right up until the 3rd punch from Jardine landed on the down & out Griffin ,,, Griffin was counting the stars and Rogan was thinking about the hot tub after party. I like Rogan lively commentating when it is unbias,,,but when he has 1 of his fav fighters in there he is over the top a huge nuthugger and it gets irritating & I do wonder which fight he is watching,, I think he should maybe watch the fight and think about the massage he will give to his fav fighter for after the fight! He is the ultimate nuthugger commentator very bias.

  • Greco says:

    Joe Rogan is always doing exactly what you said. In fact watch the Gurgel fight that is free on their site again and listen to the commentary. You’d hardly know that Miller was in the fight.

    The funny thing to me is this is exactly the reason I like him. Its like watching the fight with a buddy that kinda knows what he’s talking about.

    I liked during the recent free Spike event when he said how the guy through the opposite knee while defending the single leg. a move he saw first by Uriah Faber. For some dumb reason, I thought to myself,”Self, this guy does watch all the fights.”

  • monsoon says:

    .. 10:8 rounds. Well, I don’t like the scoring by rounds too much. Despite MMA is a sport, it is still somewhat about reality and – above all – fighing. While fighting you don’t win rounds, you win the – and the whole – fight. That remains true in most of the traditional combat sports, where judges indeed score by real point systems.
    Therefore I would prefer the PRIDE scoring – but, you’re coorect, that assumes skilled and educated judges. Though in my eyes we would need these judges as badly with the 10P-must-system. And, well, if judges scored a bout only by its last round, I would not bother. What good is a furious start if the “defending” fighter looks dominant in the last round? In reality he would probably win the fight. So I’d like to suugest PRIDE judging system and “extra rounds” if there is no clear dominance towards the end of a regular bout. That would punish the “non-finishers”…

    joe rogan:
    I used to like him a lot – compared to Goldie! Well, I know Goldie does his job and Joe has much more liberties in the way he can comment… But he bores me. Both of the guys should be kicked off.
    I cannot take any more of Goldie’s standart phrases that never ever change: e.g. announcing the ref: “Big John McCarthy our Referee!” – in roughly all of the last 50 UFC events I only once noted (completely stunned!) a variance. It reminds me of Catholic Priest doing their masses in alway and ever the same words and pronounciation until you cant take it anymore.
    And Joe: he doesn’t seem to be that solid in BJJ AND commentating: persistently he calls an occurance of the rubberguard “butterfly guard”, repeating that whilst praising Eddie Bravo (the only big BJJ name he ever mentions), telling crazy stuff about how to do a rubberguard, a triangle or other stuff correctly whithout any consitency, but always by messing up left and right….
    And I’m really thankful that you made the point: Joe’s biased! I always had the impression he was not really shure about what was going on, who was hitting whom, and what seemed to hurt. So my picture of Joe was that of a guy who was a great fan, was getting payed for (quite funny and entertaining) talking somewhat between trash and well-informed stuff, but in general was nothing more like that as a commentator – a fan, but not an expert. Glad to find out he is only “biased”!

    Someone suggestet bringing back Randy to the commentators booth. At least for a while that would be great (and – for heaven’s sake – keep awful Bas Rutten out there!).

  • Greg Urban says:

    Your so right about Rogan. I said the same thing. He did this with Forrest the other night. DEAD ON MAN!

  • christian says:

    First off let me say that i love your site fiveouncesofpain.com a lot
    now.. back to the post hehe
    I cant say that im 100% with what you wrote… care to clear things up for me?

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